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So drama over. The missus tidied up and apologised, but by then it was too late to write anything. On my way home now from another GLORIOUS day at work. I forgot how much I loved my job. All the happy customers smiling at you... So appreciative of the pains you go to to please them. Oh sometimes I just wonder why I ever LEAVE the building... /sarcasm

Thankfully I have tomorrow evening and Thursday off, but as it's the only day that me and Amy get to spend together for ages, it might not be to writing happy. However Amy loves my fanfics so I might get away with an hour or two of it.
Anyway I hope all peeps are well and shiz. Catch you laterrrrrr

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Jul. 18th, 2011

No writing tonight. You can thank my girlfriend for turning a room which I tidied yesterday into a complete and utter bomb site in the space of less than 3 hours. I am not going in that shithole

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This whole 'do as many hours as possible at work' thing is freaking exhausting. On the bus home right now and I'm exhausted. 13 hour days anyone? No thanks. Well at least home isn't far away now, still...
I need some noms probably in the form of pasta, and then either a little stint of writing or some Black Ops depending how I feel.
Me and the missus have been rping much Tseng and Reno recently though. Storylines including reno's first few months as a Turk, and their relationship through the game up until Tseng 'dies' at temple of the ancients. Taking care of business is first though, then a Cloud x Reno fic post game, while Tseng is dead...

Aaaand I've said too much.

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I'm the kind of person that can't just listen to a piece of music.

Whether it's classical, rock or pop my brain is so preoccupied with any form of fiction that it has to link it to a character. For example listening to boulevard of broken dreams reminds me of Sasuke, anything by Linkin Park generally reminds me of Reno in one of his blacker moods... Heck even listening to Beethoven can carry me anywhere between a character from my novel, final fantasy, or even something I've personally not written about, like lord of the rings. Moonlight sonata reminds me of resident evil...

Does anyone else have this process in their head, or is it just me? Is it possible to listen to music without having characters or scenes play out in your head? Or is the whole point of music to evoke a reaction like this?

Just a random thought while on the way to work...

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Jul. 12th, 2011

There was an armed robbery at work last night.

 Guys with crowbars and balaclavas forced their way in and took everybody's money, mobile phones, and the club's takings.

 Thankfully I wasn't there, but I only left half an hour before the robbery, which is a little scary. And the poor girl that was still working and got shoved around by these assholes... well, it's her birthday today. Pretty sucky present if you ask me. The manager that was with her got smacked across the head with a crowbar.

 All the staff are pretty shaken up. I mean we all bitch and moan about the place, but we're actually quite a tight knit group despite that, and it's horrible to see one of your own get hurt.

 The manager is apparently fine, but the girl is getting councelling on company time.

 I just hope it doesn't happen again.


So I'm back from Sheffield, and it was a hell of a week. Unfortunately no pictures just yet as I've not got time to upload them all today, but I should have some of the cosplay convention pretty soon. For now here's a breakdown of what went on:


Arrived in Sheffield with Amy and met her Dad and brother in the town centre. Stopped off at a store and bought some alcohol and shiz for later in the week. Went to Amy's Dad's and settled in, then went out to the pub for a while. Came back, watched Family Guy, fell asleep.


Went out shopping in the city. Got this awesome Pentacle necklace from a gothic shop near the City Hall.
...and some pretty clothes and some freaky nail polish that cracks like tiger stripes. Funky.

 Then we went home, got very very drunk with Amy's sister and her girlfriend, and all four of us managed to fall asleep on a two-seater couch. Go figure.


Was hungover for most of the day, which was unfortunate as we had to go to a barbeque with Amy's mum in the evening, who I believe has bipolar disorder, and possibly Asperger's syndrome as well and as a result she can be very unpredictable. Yet despite my worst fears the night actually went really well. Amy's mum was obviously in an up and so she was actually really nice company. We set fire to some sausages, watched The Devil Wears Prada, and then went home and played scrabble with Amy's brother. 8D


Cosplay con! Had to get up seriously freakin' early as we had to be out of the house and on the way by 9.45, and we had a lot of shiz to do beforehand. I didn't go in cosplay as I had neither the time nor the money to do it. When we got there we were greeted by this FREAKIN' AWESOME Lightning cosplayer from Final Fantasy 13. She had all the accessories and just... wow. There was also a really pretty Chobit and several Sasukes waiting to get in.
 I don't really have time to write about it all now but to cut it short:
  • I entered the Karaoke contest and won
  • We played pokemon against the most REALISTIC KAKASHI cosplayer EVAR
  • We stuck a post-it note to Sasuke, depicting some lovely SasuNaru smex. He agreed to it and everything. It was beautiful.
  • We met some mini-ninjas (some 7 year old kids dressed as Akatsuki members xD)
  • I offered to let Squall borrow my gunblade *wiggles eyebrows*
  • We bought some PRETTIES:

Pictures of the other stuff and the actual cosplay con will have to wait as I cant trawl through and upload them all at the moment. I've returned to work now and my hours have been put up, so I don't have much free time; otherwise I would go into more detail and make this entry more entertaining. Oh well.

 I'll probably give you a tumblr link to all the pictures when I have time.


Jun. 29th, 2011

Off to Sheffield in the morning so I might not update til I get back on the 3rd. been an exhausting day/week/ month and can't wait to just kick back and have some decent fun for a change. Possibly post pics of the cosplay con and Sheffield shiz in my next entry. Hope you all have a great weekend!

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Off to Sheffield...

Huuuge amounts to do before catching the coach tomorrow... Washing packing sorting out bills. I also wanted to get the next chapter of taking care of business up before I left, but due to losing an entire FRIGGING day at the hospital yesterday that probably won't happen. Sorry peeps, just the way it goes.

Hopefully the COSPLAY con will be lots of fun though!

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I had a plan...

I had a plan how I wanted this day to go. It included a damn good smexing followed by a session of writng. It was a freakin' great plan, too.

 Instead I spent 7 hours in hospital being poked and prodded with needles and swabs and peeing in pots, and having people shove their fingers right into the unhealed part of my surgical wound without giving a flying shit how it felt.

 And after all that fucking palava... I came out of the hospital with just another set of FUCKING ANTIBIOTICS.


 I AM NOT PLEASED. BASTARD HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



For any writers with writer's block...

I have struggled with writer's block for approximately 4 years, on and off. Despite the fact that I have a deep passion for writing and creating stories, I still find it difficult to concentrate, to make myself sit down and write. It brings me joy and pain in about equal measure to write the stories I'm writing, but it's a labour of love - especially when it comes to my fanfiction - and I wouldn't give it up for the world.

I still struggle with it a lot, mostly because these days I seem to have the attention span of a goldfish, and I'm easily distracted. I'm also very finicky when it comes to what conditions I write in - for example, if I know I have to go to work later, or I have something else to do later on in the day, I won't be able to concentrate sufficiently to write anything of decent content, and so I save myself the frustration and play games or do something else.

 Nonetheless I seem to have come up with a few things that work for me, and I'm able to put in a fairly good amount of time, with good content, on a regular basis. If there are any other writers out there, let me know if these work for you and any other tips you've picked up.

Set yourself a time limit.
  I've tried writing non-stop for full days before. When I was younger it wasn't a problem as I had less demands on my time and mind. I would forget to eat or drink, totally wrapped up in the story I was writing. However as I've got older I've found that this does more harm than good.

 For one thing despite the fact that you might be sitting on your ass all day, it's physically and mentally exhausting, especially if - like me - you forget to do normal daily tasks like eating and drinking. It might be productive for today, but tomorrow you'll probably find that you are too mentally drained to concentrate, your ideas won't flow the way they should and you'll get stressed and irritated at your writing - leading to writer's block. You'll also find yourself physically drained, and your brain will link writing to stress, irritability and tiredness, instilling in you a subconscious aversion to the hobby you love so much.

 Setting yourself a time limit doesn't mean you should rush all your ideas down as fast as possible in 45 minutes; It means writing like you normally would for a set amount of time, and then stop for the day. Everyone has other things they need to do anyway, and giving yourself a time limit means that you can pace yourself. Writing can be just like running a marathon (unless you're writing something like a Haiku) insofar as if you use up all your energy in one go, you'll have none left for the rest of the race. Anyway, giving yourself a time limit will also keep you in pace with your mental processing for the story/poem/whatever. It gives you time to think about what you want to happen next during the rest of the day, and tomorrow you can settle down for your session with fresh ideas. If you don't want to stop writing, MAKE yourself. If you're scared you'll forget some of the good ideas you've had, jot them down before you leave your desk.

 Time limits can be different for everyone - everyone's life is different and they have different constraints on their time. As a general rule, people are meant to do their best writing in the first 45 minutes, so I suggest making your session no longer than an hour. I also suggest making your session the same time each day (if possible) as your brain LOVES routine, and will work all the better for it.

Find yourself a space.

When I was at college doing my A levels, my teachers used to grind into me the fact that your workspace for homework and revision should be quiet, plain, away from any distractions including windows, mirrors, TVs etc. When it comes to free writing though, I disagree entirely - some of the best inspiration for writers comes from their environment, and each person works best when they can decide what to have in their workspace. I do agree that the space should be (fairly) quiet and serene - you can't sit in a room full of screaming relatives or kids and expect inspiration to hit. Even if you have headphones in, you'll be distracted by movement and worrying if your little brother is going to throw that spoonful of rice pudding in YOUR direction. Find somewhere like a bedroom or a study. For me, I seem to work better when I'm sitting opposite my bedroom window with it wide open, posters or sketches of the characters I'm writing about stuck to the wall around me. Like I said - your brain likes routine, so try to make a point of doing your writing in the same space each day. Your brain will automatically get into gear for writing every time you sit there.

Get yourself some writing music.

Music without words is preferable, as you'll automatically be distracted by songs with words in them. If there's a song that gets you in the mood for writing then try looking for an instrumental/orchestral version on youtube. Obviously you'll want to change the mood of your writing every now and then so try to get yourself a playlist ready for each general mood you want to set (i.e: Danger, sadness, happiness etc) rather than having to trawl through your entire collection every time you want to find some music of a certain mood. This can put you off and lose your train of thought.

 If you like your instrumental music, and you're not too sure where to look, I would try HERE. Overclocked Remix is a game music remix community, but there are some truly talented musicians over there, who take game music from any generation and turn it into something which sounds professional. It's rather difficult to explain how good it is, so I suggest you head over there and have a peruse.

Wash, Rinse, Repeat.

Remember you did that really astounding piece of writing that time? Do you wish you could do it again? I know this frustrates me, but I've found that there's a psychological way you can try to do it. Your brain has an extensive sensory memory, and it stores a lot more information than you realise. Researchers have found that people remember more if they are in the same place, with the same 'props' as the event they're trying to recall. Why? Because your mind responds to the stimulus around you and causes you to enter the same mind state as you were when the event occurred, and you remember more if you are in the same mental state. For example:

 My best writing on Tseng's Company was written around sunset. I sat by the window with certain music playing, wearing certain clothes, using a certain pen in a certain notebook. I also had a scented cinnamon candle burning on the table next to me. I've emulated the scenario as best I can (obviously I'd no longer fit into the clothes I wore), including the scented candle, and I've found that it's helped me write more comfortably - the way I used to before writer's block hit me. It may not work the same for you, but try it and you might be surprised.


I made this mistake too many times, as some of my friends may remember. I once took a very bad review of my work greatly to heart and started over criticising my work. To the point that I would write half a sentence, think it not good enough and delete it 100 times, before becoming frustrated and stopping. Now, it may have sucked, but yet again it may have not. You yourself will never be a great judge of your own work, especially if you are trying to critique it from someone else's point of view. You will ALWAYS find something wrong with your work, even if other people think it's a masterpiece. Obviously some editing is going to be needed in any piece of written work, but just don't forget what I forgot all that time ago:

 Writing should be a joy, not a chore. Writing is something you should be doing for yourself, not to pander to all the opinionated, cynical, unreasonable people out there. Not everybody will see the beauty in your work, and you won't be able to please everybody - you are BOUND to get at least one bad comment if you put it out there for the world to see, but if you're writing just to please other people then you should think about finding another hobby. Prepare yourself for bad feedback, take any constructive criticism on board, and never look back. Also, friends and family you trust to be fair judges may help you decide if something sounds right or not. Never trust your judgement alone or you'll always be biased.

 I've spoken to two or three well published authors out there, and they've all said the same thing - they, too, have suffered with self criticism at some point. However, they have learned to take the rough with the smooth, and continue to write for themselves, rather than worry about the criticism that they might get later.

 Even at publication level, it's still a joy for them, not a job.

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February 2013


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